


Never Really Over

by Fellykins



Category: Castle (TV 2009)
Genre: AU, F/M, season 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27848710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fellykins/pseuds/Fellykins
Summary: It's been two years since Castle said he was done. They always joked about parting ways, but Beckett always imagined they would still be friends. She thought going to DC would take away the void in her life left from their less than amicable parting, but when she thinks the wounds have healed and all may be well, a case with the AG's office brings her back home. The wounds she thought were healed get reopened once more.
Relationships: Kate Beckett/Richard Castle
Comments: 7
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, friends! This is my first time sharing a Castle story here on AO3, but I've shared other works over on FF.net. I just moved over here because they seemed to have so many issues with new works showing up after posting, and I couldn't have that. This is a story that's been bouncing around in my head for a little while. Inspired by the season 6 episode "Need to Know, a little bit of season 4's "Always," and Katy Perry's song "Never Really Over," this tells the story of Castle and Beckett getting together a little later than they did in canon. Some lines are borrowed from the show in this chapter, but the rest of it is all me. This is a two part chapter, with the first focusing primarily on Beckett and the second focusing primarily on Castle. I'm looking forward to writing this story and sharing it with you all here, and I hope you all enjoy it! ♥

Beckett groaned as she rolled over to pick her phone up off of her nightstand. She’d largely ignored the first chime that went off a couple hours ago. She was awake then, but once she saw the message was from her dad, she rolled back over in her bed and decided to acknowledge it later.

Later just so happened to be two hours later.

This time, a message from Agent McCord telling her to call the office lit up her screen. She dialed the office’s number and rolled over onto her side, setting the phone on her bed, putting it on speaker phone, and propping herself up with her arm.

“McCord,” her partner said.

“You wanted me to call?” Beckett asked.

“Yeah, we got a case,” McCord said. “Bring an overnight bag.”

“Okay,” Beckett said, suppressing a groan. “I’ll be there soon.”

She hung up without waiting for a response for her new partner, then let out the groan she’d held back. So much for the couple extra hours she was supposed to have to herself this morning before she had to show up at work. 

She sat up in her bed and sent a quick text back to her dad letting him know that all was well and that she’d call him later. The bit about all being well was a little bit of a white lie, but that was okay. Her dad didn’t need to know that, though in time, perhaps he would learn about how life in DC was really going for her.

But right now, there was a case to be solved, and that took precedence over her current feelings about her job. Justice had to be served, at least as much as the AG’s office would allow her to serve.

o.o.o.o.o

“Morning, Beckett,” Villante said as she stepped into the conference room. “I just finished briefing McCord on the details of your case, but your flight’s due to leave in about an hour so she can fill you in on the way to the airport.”

“Flight?” Beckett asked as her partner walked past her. 

“Come on,” McCord said.

“Where are we going?”

“New York,” McCord replied, pressing the button to close the doors on the elevator.

“Why?”

“A man named Charlie Reynolds was found dead this morning. I don’t have too many details, but the AG’s office wants us to go up and assist with the investigation,” McCord replied.

“Do we at least know how he died?”

“He was found by a jogger hanging from a hook in a construction site,” McCord said. “It’s all over the news.”

“What about who’s got the case?”

“The NYPD’s 12th Precinct,” McCord replied. “It’s been classified as a homicide.”

o.o.o.o.o

Three months.

Three months since she last set foot in the 12th and worked a case. 

Kate Beckett can remember it clearly. She can remember showing up late to the location where the body of their victim was found because she’d flown down to DC for an interview. She can remember the last time she stood in the interrogation room, taking it all in as she pushed for the confession that would seal the deal on their case. She can remember walking out of the precinct for the last time, wishing Esposito and Ryan, the two who had been with her through thick and thin, the best of luck and giving them the confidence to push forward without her leadership.

She never thought she’d set foot in this place again.

And now, after three months, she was back.

Nothing changed in the three months she was gone. The same worn brown walls held the building together. The same officer, or at least one of them, who manned the front doors, checking visitors in and pointing them in the right direction, was there. The same familiar faces walked the halls of the precinct.

It was all the same.

“Beckett!” the officer said as she and her new partner approached. “Nice to see you back!”

“Thanks, Lewis,” Beckett replied with a half-hearted smile.

“We’re looking for the ones in charge of the Charlie Reynolds case,” McCord said. 

There was a pause as Lewis looked up the information on the computer in front of him, then smiled as he looked up at the two agents. “That’ll be homicide,” he said, looking to Beckett. “Your old team got the case, actually. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you.” He looked to McCord. “Fourth floor, but Beckett knows the way. She’ll show you.”

“Thank you,” McCord said, nodding to the officer before making her way to the elevator.

Kate hesitated for a moment, but she followed her partner to the elevator, pressing the button for the fourth floor as she entered. Even the elevator was the same. The 12th was the same, beat up building it always was when she worked homicide. Nothing changed. She started to have her doubts that it ever would, no matter who was in the building or who was in charge.

“Must be weird being back here,” McCord said.

Kate shrugged. “A little,” she admitted.

“These people you worked with that are on this case,” McCord said. “Are they good people?”

For the first time since Beckett walked into the building, a smile formed on her face. “They’re the best.”

But as soon as they stepped out of the elevator, Kate froze, the smile fading from her face just as quickly as it came. Her eyes locked on the back of a tall man standing with her former team and her former captain. 

It was only the back of him, but she’d recognize him from anywhere.

“Beckett,” McCord said. Her partner’s hushed voice was enough to pull her gaze away from the man’s back and to her partner, who was gesturing to her to follow. It was enough to ground her.

“...And you no longer have a reason for being here,” Beckett could hear Gates saying. What was he doing in the precinct? He hadn’t set foot in this place in two years. “This is our murder case.”

“Not anymore.”

Gates was the first to look over at the agents. Esposito and Ryan’s eyes were on them next; there was another detective there with them, an unfamiliar face to Beckett, but his eyes were on them too.

And then he turned to face them, maybe a quarter of a second after everyone else did. Everything that happened in the moments after McCord’s voice broke through the authority Gates held over her precinct, over the displeasure she had at seeing him in her precinct after two years, happened so fast. All Beckett did was blink, and all eyes were on them, including his.

For the first time in two years, Kate Beckett and Richard Castle locked eyes, and everything that she’d locked away since that evening just over two years ago came rushing back to the surface, barely hidden behind the mask she wore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I can push out chapters a little more often, but no promises. I work in retail, and it's the holiday season. Life is a little wild right now, but I'm getting through it. Once again, there's some lines that are directly from the show, but going forward, there shouldn't be too much of that. You could consider this the second part of the previous chapter, from Castle's viewpoint. I hope you all enjoy! ♥ Also, please bear with me as I get my formatting straight for chapters. Hopefully I've got it all straight with this chapter, but if not, just bear with me and I promise I'll get it all right!

Life at the loft was a struggle for Richard Castle. He’d been laying in bed, a common occurrence for him given his recent issues with writers’ block, when the sounds of the blender made him sit up, bringing him out of the peaceful, relaxed state he was in.

“Pi,” he breathed, the annoyance dripping from the single name that escaped his mouth.

And sure enough, Pi was the source of him not being able to relax on this fine October morning. Across the room, in the kitchen, was his daughter, Alexis, standing next to Pi, watching as he prepared smoothies with a variety of fruits and vegetables laid out across the kitchen counter.

“Morning, Dad!” Alexis said, her smile bright. “I hope we didn’t wake you!”

“We’re making smoothies,” Pi chimed in. “I’ll whip you one up.”

Anything he would’ve wanted to say was interrupted by his mother coming down the stairs. Perhaps it was for the best though; anything Castle would’ve said wouldn’t have been terribly nice, and his relationship with his daughter was strained in recent months since she returned from her summer trip to Costa Rica with her new boyfriend.

“Good morning!” Martha said as she took her place next to her son. She looked to Pi next. “I’ll have my usual, anti-aging.”

Castle only gave one look to his mother, a look full of annoyance and disdain before retreating back to his office, closing the door behind him. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on to the news, hoping that perhaps this would be the morning something would be shown that would break him out of his writers’ block.

It was a two year long struggle he’d only managed to force himself out of long enough to avoid losing Black Pawn as his publisher. He wasn’t particularly pleased with anything he’d written in the last two years, but it was better than nothing. It was better than pushing forward and forcing himself to write more _Nikki Heat_ , continuing to live a life that he had no business living.

The door opened, and his mother walked in, a glass full of a green liquid in her hand. “You could learn to appreciate his efforts, you know.”

“What efforts?” Castle asked in a hushed voice, crossing to the other side of the room. “Half the time, I don’t know if I’m smelling our new compost bin or my daughter’s rotting ambition.”

“Oh please,” Martha replied, waving her free hand. “She’s nineteen, she’ll get it out of her system.”

“Well, I wish she’d get it out of her system faster,” Castle said, crossing back to the other side of the room. “And out of my house. Maybe I should show her my stern disapproval.”

“She’ll just rebel and want to be with him even more,” Martha said.

“So I should approve?”

“No, no,” she said, shaking her head with a chuckle. “That’ll just cement the relationship. She’ll be sleeping on the couch with him.”

Castle’s head immediately turned to his living room, looking out at the couch from between the stacks of books. There was a fear on his face that Martha could only chuckle at.

“So what should I do?” he asked, looking back to his mother.

She held out the drink in her hand, which Castle took. “Drink your kale blast,” she said. “And just ride it out, kiddo.”

Her eyes went to the TV. “Is that Charlie Reynolds?” she asked. “Turn it up.”

The reporter was giving a report on the recently deceased Charlie Reynolds, an actor known for his role as Dewey Hancock in a TV show called 2 Cool for School. Pictures of Reynolds in his role flashed across the screen as the reporter spoke, and Martha and Castle spoke of the show and their memories of it, Martha having done a guest spot on it years ago.

“Oh, how gruesome,” Martha commented once the reporter explained how the body was found hanging from a hook on a construction crane.

“Yes,” Castle said, his face lighting up. “If by gruesome, you mean awesome.” Martha looked at her son, not terribly surprised at her son’s interest in the gory details of Charlie Reynolds’ death, but he pointed to the TV, picking up his phone in the process. “Look. That’s Esposito and Ryan. This is exactly what I need,” he continued, dialing Esposito’s number. “Former child star literally getting the hook, hung out to dry.”

Martha only shook her head as the pair watched, seeing Esposito take his phone out of his pocket only to decline the call.

“Did you see that?” Castle asked, looking at his own phone. “He declined my call!”

“Looks like Charlie Reynolds wasn’t the only one who got hung out to dry,” Martha said, turning to leave the room.

Castle frowned, but as he looked at the TV, he decided he would just go to the crime scene in person. They couldn’t reject him if he was physically there. He’d even offer up the Ferrari as a bartering tool, and front row Knicks seats. They could never pass those up back when he worked at the precinct with them, and surely they couldn’t now. Sure, two years passed by since he last saw them, since he and Beckett stopped working together, but surely things hadn’t changed that much.

Beckett.

Just thinking her name threatened to open the wound that scarred over some time ago. If he went back to the 12th, he would see her, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

His eyes went back to the TV. Beckett wasn’t there with them, at least not as far as he could see. Perhaps just going to look in person wouldn’t be so bad. If she was there, he could just leave without a word to anyone. If she wasn’t, then perhaps he’d found his inspiration for his next book.

o.o.o.o.o

Castle pushed through the crowd that gathered at the edge of the crime scene tape. Turns out he wasn’t the only one who dared to get a glimpse at the late Charlie Reynolds. He couldn’t see Esposito or Ryan, but the other officers on the scene could probably point him in the right direction.

He moved to cross the yellow line, only to be blocked by an unfamiliar face, earning him some giggles from the girls behind him.

“Sorry, NYPD only past this point,” the man said. Castle noted his appearance; plain clothes probably meant detective, which probably meant Beckett wasn’t here. That was a plus in his eyes. He wouldn’t have to see her until he got to the precinct.

“I don’t think you know who I am,” Castle said. “I’m▬”

“No, I know exactly who you are,” the detective replied. “But you can’t cross this line.”

Castle looked up, catching Esposito and Ryan’s eye. “There!” he said, pointing to the duo that was walking towards them. “There! Those are my people! Esposito, Ryan! Hey!”

“Don’t worry, we got this, Sully,” Ryan said, nodding to the detective. Sully nodded, heading back to join the other officers working the scene.

“Who’s that guy, right?” Castle asked with a chuckle.

“That is Detective Grant Sullivan,” Ryan said. “Beckett’s not around anymore, but it’s nice having someone to boss around.”

Beckett was… gone? There was a part of Castle that felt relieved, knowing that he could weasel his way into this investigation without having to worry about crossing paths with her. But there was another part of him, the part that was locked away in the back of his mind, that worried that maybe, just maybe, something happened to her. That maybe, after all this time, the danger surrounding her mother’s case caught up to her and cost her her life.

He shook his head. It wasn’t worth it to open those wounds again. It was her life to do as she wished with. If she wanted to throw it away, then that was her choice. He just made the decision to not stick around and watch her throw her life away. Now he had to make the choice to not reopen the wounds of the past.

“What are you doing here, bro?” Esposito asked.

“You would know if you’d answered my call,” Castle replied, perhaps a little more bitter than he’d intended.

Esposito shrugged. “Must’ve missed it.”

“You hung up on me,” Castle replied. “On live television.”

“Well, it was nice seein’ you, Castle, but we got work to do,” Esposito replied, nudging his partner. 

“Wait, wait!” he cried out, waiting until the duo turned around to continue. “Let me in, please.”

“Sorry, but if Gates were to find out, she’d have our heads,” Ryan said.

“Please,” Castle begged. “You can each have the Ferrari for a week!”

The boys looked at each other for a moment, then Esposito nodded. “Two weeks,” Esposito said. Castle was about to open his mouth to agree, but Esposito cut him off. “And Knicks tickets. Floor seats.”

“Deal,” Castle agreed, and with that single word, he was able to cross the line.

Finally, maybe inspiration would strike again. At the very least, he’d be free from life in the loft, free from life with Pi, even if it was only for a few short hours.

o.o.o.o.o

It was on the way back to the precinct that Castle learned the finer details of Beckett’s departure from the 12th. She’d been offered a job with the AG’s office down in DC, and after a successful interview, she took the job and didn’t turn back. Only a few months passed since she parted ways with her old team at the 12th, but not even Esposito and Ryan heard from her. Apparently even Lanie, her best friend, barely heard from her. Thankfully, time healed their wounds, and they learned to accept that this was life for all of them now.

Time healed Castle’s wounds too.

Though there was some pain in walking back into the 12th for the first time in two years, it was quickly dismissed as his mind raced with thoughts of his next novel. He would write briefly about Nikki Heat’s departure from the force as she moved onto bigger and better things, and he would focus more on the adventures of Jameson Rook, Miguel Ochoa, and Sean Raley. It would be great, and more importantly, it would keep Black Pawn off his back.

“Mr. Castle!” Captain Gates shouted, standing just outside of her office. Castle, Esposito, Ryan, and Sully, who met them back at the precinct after riding in his own car, turned to look at her, though Esposito and Ryan stepped back, exchanging a look. “What are you doing here?”

“Captain Gates,” Castle said. “I-I…” 

“Oh, I see what’s happened,” Gates said, stepping forward. “This man has insinuated himself into the Charlie Reynolds case.” She looked to her detectives. “And you let him.” She brought her attention back to Castle. “Well, news for you, Mr. Castle. You are not NYPD, and you no longer have a reason for being here. This is our murder case.”

“Not anymore.” 

Everyone turned to look at the newcomers, but Castle’s eyes only focused on one person. His mind didn’t even process what was happening anymore. He could only see her.

She was here. At the 12th. 

She was still the same as she was two years ago, physically anyways. He couldn’t tell what was going through her mind, but he never could. She was always mysterious in that regard, but he didn’t care. He _loved_ her, and he would fight tooth and nail to tear down every wall she’d put up to get into her heart.

And for a little while, he thought he had. Even her year long lie of not remembering what he’d said to her the day she was shot, the day she nearly died and he confessed his love to her, didn’t deter him from pursuing her, especially after she explained that she was working through everything, processing it all, getting help from a therapist. The words between them that day, the day of what was supposed to be his last case, were enough for him. They were enough for him to know that she felt the same way, and in time, they would be together.

Except she wouldn’t back down when her life was on the line, the life he swore to protect from whoever was out there trying to kill her for poking around her mother’s murder.

“It’s your life,” he could remember telling her. “You can throw it away if you want to, but I’m not going to stick around and watch you do it. This is over. I’m done.”

And that was it. In two years, neither of them spoke to each other. She was alive, he knew that much. For a little while, after their parting, he would check the newspapers to see if she really had died, but she was still out there. 

He couldn’t write after that, not _Nikki Heat_ at least; it was too painful. It was a touchy subject with his family and his publisher at first, but they learned quickly to not discuss it, to not push him to write something he couldn’t do. 

His heart broke that day.

Seeing her again brought back all that pain that he’d locked away two years ago. He watched as she moved to stand next to her partner, her new partner, his replacement. There was a tension in the room, but it wasn’t just from the feds and the NYPD being in the same room together. It was from Castle and Beckett being together in the same room for the first time in two years.

Sully and McCord couldn’t feel it, but those that knew Castle and Beckett best could.

When the federal agents left to set up shop in the conference room, it was Captain Gates’ voice that brought Castle back to reality.

“Mr. Castle,” she’d said. He turned to look at her. “You can work this case.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I played out the Castle and Beckett scene in this chapter in my head hundreds of times, and I rewrote it at least twice before I finally settled on what I have here in this chapter. I'm pretty happy with how it came out though, even if it's not quite as good as the way it played out in my head. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and I also hope you all have a fantastic holiday season! ♥

Perhaps it was for the best that while the feds and the NYPD were working together, they were conducting their own separate investigations into the Charlie Reynolds murder. Perhaps it was for the best that Castle and Beckett weren’t working as closely together as they used to.

Sully and McCord were seemingly oblivious to the tension in the air, but to everyone else, especially those that knew Castle and Beckett the best, they didn’t just feel the tension. They could see it too.

It was chicken poop that brought the two groups together though. Perlmutter’s only discovery to the NYPD (the rest he claimed he wasn’t at liberty to share, much to the frustration of the detectives) led Esposito, Ryan, and Castle to a warehouse in Brooklyn, where they found guns hidden beneath some camera equipment, and came into contact with McCord, Beckett, and Ethan Wright of the CIA.

As it turned out, Beckett and McCord didn’t know much more than the NYPD.

But for Beckett, it wasn’t just the tension between her and Castle that was the problem. Upon their return to the precinct, orders came up from DC to pause the investigation. It was a point of frustration for Esposito and Ryan, and understandably so as they only wanted to solve the murder, and the tension between the NYPD and the feds reached a boiling point.

Beckett was caught between two worlds, the one that she used to call home and the one she lived with now. Esposito and Ryan looked to her for support, but she wasn’t in a position to give that. As much as she wanted to, her loyalties lied with the feds now. If they said to hit pause on the investigation, then she had to do just that, and so did they. The days of going against orders were over.

She didn’t actually look at her old team, instead keeping her eyes focused on the cup of coffee in her hands, a cup of coffee she didn’t even quite enjoy because it wasn’t the same as the way _he_ made it, but she just knew there was disappointment written all over Ryan’s face, frustration written all over Esposito’s, and she knew Sully, who she never worked with before this case, wasn’t too happy with her either.

Her eyes flicked to where Castle was, seated at Ryan’s desk, his eyes on his phone probably playing some game while he waited for the next steps from the team. He’d taken a surprisingly hands off approach to the case, though perhaps that was because of her. Would he even be here if he’d known she would be here too?

She shook her head, taking in a deep breath. It didn’t matter. He was here now, and she would be headed back to DC in the morning. There was no better time than the present to talk to him and clear the air.

She walked over to Ryan’s desk. “Castle?” She waited until he looked up. “Could I talk to you for a minute?” He leaned back in the chair, but she shook her head. “Not here. Break room?”

He shrugged, but he didn’t say no. He didn’t say yes either, but he did lock his phone and head to the break room, putting his phone in his pocket as he did so. She followed.

She closed the door to the break room as she walked in, then crossed to the other side to close the other door. A quick glance around the bullpen showed that everyone else was engrossed in their work, with the exception of Sully, who was preparing to head home for the evening, and Esposito and Ryan, who gathered at the latter’s desk, presumably to do paperwork for the case but more likely to complain about tonight’s events. No one was likely to bother them, but with the doors closed, Beckett was sure no one would come in.

Castle stood off to the side, his eyes on her the entire time, but he said nothing. Neither did she. She didn’t know what to say. There was a lot on her mind, so much to tell him since that day two years ago. Did he even feel the same way about her now that he did two years ago? Was he with another woman? He was an incorrigible playboy when she first met him, only changing because of her, but he’d gone back to his old ways briefly, before their big fight. Maybe he’d really gone back to his old ways after they parted ways.

No. He was here with her now. There was no girl hanging off his shoulder to make her jealous. There were no interruptions. It was just her and him and the tension in the air.

“I’m sorry,” she started after taking a deep breath. “For not listening before. I’m sorry.”

Castle’s gaze went back to her, having wandered over to the bullpen where Esposito and Ryan were seated at the latter’s desk. She pressed on. “You were right. I wasn’t in control. I went right back down the rabbit hole, and I wasn’t alone this time. They were going to kill me and anyone that came with me.

“Espo came with me to investigate a hotel the suspect was rumored to be staying at. I pulled him with me because I knew Ryan was hesitant. I could see it all over his face. He had the same fears you did. He said we needed to do it right, but I was already too far gone. I didn’t want to risk anything and had to dive into it before it was too late.

It nearly got both of us killed. I wasn’t thinking, and I went in blindly with no back up. I was reckless. I was willing to die for my cause, but I never wanted to bring anyone else down with me. Almost getting Javi killed woke me up. I had to stop. If it wasn’t for Ryan bringing Gates into it, I probably would’ve died.”

She saw the way Castle’s expression changed from one of disinterest to one of pain and of fear. It was the same expression he had the day she was shot. Still, she had to keep going. “Ryan kept going with the investigation after Espo and I were put on administrative leave, and he brought me into it. That’s how I found out who did it. I got to see those papers you talked about, but they got blown to bits when the guy who shot me tried to get him.”

“Is he dead?” Castle asked. “The guy who shot you.”

Beckett nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Happened when he tried to get the papers Montgomery’s friend hid.”

Castle nodded this time, but there was silence between them. She looked to her hands, hesitating to continue. She wanted him to say something more, anything to break this silence between them. He always wanted her to open up, talk about what was on her mind, and she finally found the courage to do so, but there was silence between them.

Maybe it really was over, just like he said two years ago. Maybe if she’d come out of her shell just a little sooner, things would be different. Maybe she wouldn’t have accepted the offer to come work at the AG’s office in DC to work in a job she came to hate just as quickly as she accepted the offer to run and hide like she always did.

Being at the 12th after she and Castle broke off their partnership in a less than amicable way broke her heart. She’d come to associate the precinct with Castle. She got used to the way he’d bring her coffee every morning. Hell, she even got used to the way he made her coffee. It was perfect, done in a way she could never recreate herself. She got used to his crazy, outlandish theories.

Beckett got used to just having him there, following her around, annoying her, pestering her. He was her shadow, her partner, the man she fell in love with.

“I should go,” she said with a sigh. She needed to go. Being here with him, not saying anything, standing in silence, it was breaking her, and she couldn’t show weakness in public. Not like this. “It was nice seeing you again, Rick.”

Her hand was on the doorknob when Castle spoke. “So that’s it?” he asked. He waited until she turned to face him, her hand still on the doorknob, to continue. “You’ve changed, Beckett,” Castle continued, his expression changing from the pained one to one of just pure frustration. “What about Charlie Reynolds? Or have you already forgotten about him now that the investigation has been stopped?” He shook his head. “The Kate Beckett I knew wouldn’t have let a murderer go unpunished. The Kate Beckett I know would’ve kept looking for another lead to get the case reopened.”

Beckett’s hand fell from the doorknob as Castle spoke, her eyes widening. Her hand went into the pocket of her coat, her fingers wrapping around the flash drive in it; she was just going to drop it on Espo or Ryan’s desk on her way out, but hearing his words changed her plans. Castle made his way to the door opposite her, but she closed the gap between them before he could turn his back to her.

She took his hand in her own, her breath catching. It had been so long since they last touched each other, since she’d been this close to him. His hand was warm, perfect even. She could feel her heart racing just from being in his presence; it was a feeling she hadn’t felt for two years, and it was all racing right back to her. She let out a shaky breath as she placed the flash drive in his hand, closing his fingers around it but not letting go of his hand.

She looked up into his blue eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. She could see he was surprised by her sudden action.

“You’re wrong.”

Beckett held his hand for a moment longer before she suddenly let it go, leaving the break room as quickly as she’d crossed the room to get to Castle.

Castle looked down at his hand after Beckett left the break room, opening it up to see a small flash drive in it. He looked to the elevator, where he could see Beckett stepping onto it with McCord. He could see something in her face that he hadn’t seen since the last time he saw her, a look of defiance.

Maybe his Beckett was still in there.

“He deserves justice,” Ryan said as Castle rounded the corner from the break room to his desk, where he and Esposito were stationed. Paperwork for the case was pulled up on the screen of Ryan’s computer, though neither were particularly interested in it.

“What happened to Beckett?” Esposito asked as Castle approached him and Ryan. The duo was seated at the latter’s desk, paperwork for the case that was just closed unexpectedly pulled up on his computer. “She used to understand that.”

“I think she still does.”

The detectives turned to look at Castle, who was holding out the flash drive for the boys to see. They looked at each other, then back at Castle. Ryan took one look at Gates’ office, noting that the door was closed and she was preoccupied with her own work, before jumping up to grab an NYPD laptop.

o.o.o.o.o

The moment Beckett and McCord got back to their hotel room, Beckett excused herself and retreated to her room, practically throwing herself onto her bed. She shifted to take her phone out of her pocket, then dialed Lanie’s number before laying back down on the bed. Her phone was positioned near her, and she put it on speaker.

“Beckett?” Lanie asked when she finally picked up.

“Hey.”

“Girl, you haven’t called since you left for DC,” Lanie replied. “How have you been? What have you been doing?”

Beckett shrugged, not that Lanie could see. “Okay, I guess,” she replied. “I’m sorry I haven’t called. I’ve just been really busy with training and the case load. It’s been a lot.”

“Well, are you at least liking it down there?”

She hesitated. Lanie could hear her shift on the bed as Beckett looked to the door to her room. She wanted to tell Lanie the truth, but what if McCord heard? She already felt like she was on thin ice with the AG’s office; she’d been a little defiant in her last case, but they seemed to look past it because lives were saved, even though the one responsible would receive no punishment because that was just how things worked down in DC.

“Yeah,” she said after a moment. “I’m back in town for a case though. I’ve been working with Espo, Ryan, and Castle.”

“Castle?” Lanie asked. “Castle’s back at the 12th?”

“I guess, I don’t know,” Beckett replied. “When I got there this morning, Gates was chewing him out, but I guess she let him stay when my partner and I showed up.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Kate Beckett, don’t you ‘well what’ me. You know damn well what I’m asking you about,” Lanie said.

“I don’t know, Lane. I think▬” she stopped when she heard a knock on her door. She shifted, holding the phone in her hand, as her partner opened the door.

“I just got a phone call from your old captain,” McCord said. “Apparently your old team found something. We gotta go.”

Beckett nodded, a smile forming on her face after her partner turned away to get her coat. “Lanie, I’ll talk to you later.”

She hung up before her friend could respond, but Beckett didn’t need to hear Lanie’s voice to know that she wouldn’t be getting out of finishing her interrupted thought. Lanie would get it out of her one way or another. It was a problem for later though.

A smile formed on her face as she grabbed her coat, throwing it on as she walked out of her room. Right now, she had a murder to solve.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to clear a lil something up here with the timeline since I think it may be a little confusing. When it comes to Beckett, she hasn't talked to Castle in about two years; the fight they had in 4x23 in which Castle said he was done is the last time they spoke to each other, up until the beginning of this story, which starts with 6x03. For the most part, the rest of the canon events happened, with the exception of Alexis' kidnapping (since that would've brought Castle and Beckett back together sooner than this story beginning); Beckett was still suspended from her job (but didn't quit like she does in 4x23) and she still gets offered the job in DC. When it comes to Beckett talking to the rest of her crew from the 12th, it's only been a couple months; at the beginning of 6x01, after she accepts Castle's proposal, there's a two month time skip, and that's the time frame in which she hasn't spoken to her friends from the 12th. It's a little weird, I know, but hopefully that (and this chapter!) clears it all up. Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoy this Beckett and Lanie chapter (though I probably have not done them justice because Stana and Tamala are perfect together), and I also hope you have a happy holiday season!

Passing the flash drive over to Castle got the case reopened, as Beckett expected. Deep down, she hoped it cleared any lingering doubts about her loyalty to her old friends, her old team, but talking to Castle reawakened something inside her that was locked away two years ago. It reawakened her sense of justice. It wasn’t so much that she stopped caring about justice after her fight with Castle. It was more so she became the woman she was when the Allison Tisdale case brought her and Castle together for the first time, when he started following her around like an annoying shadow that she wanted gone.

It wasn’t until Castle was gone, really gone, that she realized just how much she didn’t want him gone. It wasn’t until he was gone that she realized just how much he changed her life for the better. She wanted her friends back, for things to be the same way they were two years ago, before she and Castle got into their fight and before she left for DC a couple months ago for a job she came to hate, but more importantly, she wanted Charlie Reynolds to get the justice he deserved.

And he did. The woman of his dreams, Svetlana Rankov, was freed from the life she lived. The murderer was caught.

The case was closed, and after bidding farewell to her old friends at the 12th (which was mainly just Espo, Ryan, Captain Gates, and a few of the uniforms she worked closely with considering the only other member of her old team left once it became evident that Charlie Reynolds would be getting the justice he deserved), she and McCord returned to their hotel room, though Beckett didn’t stay for long. On their way back, Beckett made plans to go to Lanie’s apartment; there was no sense in avoiding the talk that got cut short by the case getting reopened, and she figured it was better to do it in person. She needed a girls’ night anyways, and she needed it with someone who understood the problems she faced in her life at the moment. Her flight back to DC wasn’t until 8am, so she helped McCord get their files back into their hotel room and then set off for Lanie’s apartment.

Charlie Reynolds got justice, and now she had to sort out the problems of her own life. Esposito and Ryan seemed to be forgiving after the case came to a close, but Castle was a different story.

“Finally!” Lanie said when she opened the door, pulling her friend inside. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.”

“Sorry,” Beckett replied with a bit of a smile. “Got a little held up at the hotel.”

Lanie shook her head, but she led Beckett over to a table set with two wine glasses and an unopened bottle of red wine. They sat down, and Lanie reached for the bottle and the wine opener placed next to it.

“So,” Lanie said as she opened the bottle. “How’s DC?”

Beckett hesitated, just as she did when she spoke to Lanie on the phone about the same subject. Her immediate instinct was to lie about it, to tell her that it was great and that she loved it, so that her friend wouldn’t worry when she went back in the morning. One look at Lanie’s face told Beckett that she’d see right through any lie that was told. She always did.

“I think I’d rather be here,” Kate said, opting for the honesty route. It earned her a raised eyebrow from Lanie. “There’s just…” She trailed off, hesitating again. This time, it wasn’t because of wanting to talk her way out of the subject, but more so because her work was confidential now. It was all need to know, and sometimes, even she wasn’t authorized to know details about her cases. “It’s very different than it is here,” she said after a moment, her eyes on the now full wine glass in front of her. “Here, if I looked hard enough, I could get all the details I needed to solve a case, and there would be a sense of justice when the killer was put behind bars. Down there, I don’t get that. It’s frustrating.”

Lanie nodded. “Well, stuff being need to know never stopped you before,” she replied. “Hell, it didn’t even stop Castle from poking his nose into places it shouldn’t have been poked.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Beckett replied, taking a sip of her wine.

“Speaking of Castle,” Lanie said, setting her glass of wine down. “How’s he doing?”

Beckett shrugged. “He seems okay, I guess.”

“Only okay?”

“Yeah,” Beckett replied. She kept her eyes on the glass of wine in her hand, swirling it around a bit in the glass. When she looked up at Lanie, she could see the way her friend was looking at her, prompting her to continue, and she sighed. “He said I changed, Lanie. I feel like he’s mad at me or he hates me or something, I don’t know. It just wasn’t the same between us. It was weird, and not the same kind of weird from two years ago.”

“Kate, the man followed you▬”

A knock at the door stopped Lanie in the middle of her response. The girls looked at each other, then at the door. Lanie stood up and walked over to the door, taking a moment to look through the peephole before opening it.

“Hey!” Beckett said suddenly, jumping up and moving to stand behind Lanie once she saw that her partner was at the door. “I thought our flight wasn’t until tomorrow morning.”

“It is,” McCord said, stepping across the threshold into the apartment. “They know it was you that tipped off the press.”

Lanie looked at Beckett, who opened her mouth to defend herself, only to be cut off by McCord before any words could come out. “In a way, I admire you because I like to think I might’ve done the same thing at one point, but the people we work for don’t see it that way. Kate, you’re one of the best agents I’ve ever worked with, but I’m here to tell you that you’re fired.”

“Oh” was all Kate could manage to say, and even that was after a moment of silence in which she processed what just happened. There was another moment of silence, then she said, “I’ll, uh… I’ll come by a little later to grab my stuff.”

McCord nodded, but as soon as the door was closed, Lanie threw her arms around her friend. “Guess we got you back after all,” she said, smiling. Beckett smiled too, the first real, genuine smile in two years. “Tell you what, I’ll order us a pizza, and then we’ll go pick up your stuff and grab the pizza on the way back.”

“Okay,” Beckett replied as Lanie slipped away to grab her phone and car keys. “I hope you don’t mind if I crash here tonight!”

“Stay as long as you want, girl!” Lanie said as she slipped away into her room. When she came back out, she had a coat over her clothes. “But you’re sleeping on the couch.” Beckett looked over at her friend, a bit of a frown on her face, prompting her to continue. “Two months and no contact? You might be my best friend, Kate Beckett, but that’s not gonna stop me from giving you hell for not saying anything for two months.”

The frown on Beckett’s face turned into a smile. Even Lanie was smiling. “But you better go back to Gates and get your old job back. The boys there need you! It’s only been a couple months, but they’re like lost little puppies over there.”

Beckett laughed. Of course they did. They were a team, and nothing could change that. Sure, there were some bumps in the road, but they always managed to get past them. This would be no exception.

Tonight, she would celebrate. Tomorrow, she would try to get her old job with the NYPD back. And even later, she’d sort out her living situation and get the rest of her things from her apartment in DC.

And maybe, in time, all the pieces of her life would fall together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I survived the holiday season at work! Hopefully life will get a little easier, and I'll be able to post a little more, but no promises. I've already kinda started writing chapter 6 of this story; I was originally going to have it be a part of this chapter, but it was already pretty lengthy, so I decided to split it up. Some lines from this episode are from 6x04, "Number One Fan," so if they look familiar, that's why. Happy reading, and I look forward to sharing the next chapter with you all! ♥

Beckett took a deep breath as she stepped off the elevator at the fourth floor. A quick glance around the bullpen allowed her to see some of her old colleagues, Esposito and Ryan included, though everyone was preoccupied with their work to really notice her. Her eyes went to Captain Gates’ office. The door was slightly ajar, but the captain was inside.

That was all she needed to know to propel herself forward.

But as she walked towards her former captain’s office, she couldn’t help but think about how this was the first time in a long time she’d stepped off the elevator without someone by her side. Just twenty-four hours ago, she’d been here with her former partner with the AG’s office, and now she was alone, back in this strange, yet familiar place while McCord was on a flight back to Washington DC.

It was a flight Beckett should’ve been on, but she threw the opportunity away.

She didn’t regret it though. Going to the AG’s office was supposed to let her forget everything she went there to escape, and instead, all it took was one trip back home to remind her that she couldn’t escape her feelings forever.

But maybe she should’ve known that.

When she locked away her feelings about her mother’s case, all it took was Castle digging into it for them to come right back out. All it took was his prying to send her right back down into that rabbit hole that nearly consumed her twice. She thought she’d escaped that life, and instead, she found herself right back in it, only the second time around, she got a lot farther than the first time around, thanks to Castle.

So when seeing Castle for the first time in two years brought back all the feelings she’d locked away, it shouldn’t have surprised her. And yet it did. But instead of running from it, she ran towards it. Instead of allowing the AG’s office to cover up the Charlie Reynolds investigation without him getting any sort of justice, she defied orders, just as she probably would’ve done if she was here at the 12th, with Esposito and Ryan and Castle.

It got her fired from her job, but it was worth it. It allowed her to come back here, to be back with her friends, to have a second chance at maybe, just maybe, getting to be with the man she’d fallen in love with.

Time was precious, and she was done wasting it.

She knocked on the door to her former captain’s office. “Captain Gates?”

The captain looked up, her eyes widening in surprise. “Beckett,” she said. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, uh, you told me not to be a stranger,” Beckett replied with a nervous laugh as she stepped into the office. “But um, the truth is, I got fired from my job with the AG’s office, and uh, I’m kinda hoping I can have my job back here?”

The surprise quickly faded from Gates’ face. “What happened?”

“I fed the press a bad tip about Svetlana Rankov,” Beckett said with a shrug. “I don’t think being in DC was really meant for me though, to be honest. I couldn’t handle the idea of not getting justice for the victims in my cases. I didn’t have the same satisfaction I had here.”

Gates smiled, nodding. “I understand,” she said, picking up the phone on her desk. “The commissioner has a hiring freeze right now, but let me see what I can do.”

Beckett nodded, and she watched in silence as Gates pressed a few buttons on the phone. She’d dialed the commissioner, and after a few moments and a bit of arguing, she hung up the phone in frustration, only to pick it back up a moment later to dial another number, this time to the mayor. That conversation seemed to go a bit better, considering Gates was considerably more gentle with the phone when she hung up, and she could’ve sworn that she heard Castle’s name mentioned too.

“Captain?” Beckett asked, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing.

“Hold on,” Gates replied. She picked it up. “Gates.” She nodded as she scribbled an address down on a sticky note on her desk. “Okay, I’ll send detectives over.” As soon as she set the phone back down on the receiver, it rang again. “Gates.” A smile lit up her face as she nodded. “Great. Thank you, commissioner. I’ll let her know.”

Gates hung up the phone, then opened one of the drawers on her desk, pulling out a badge and a gun. “Welcome back, Detective Beckett,” she said, handing over the badge, gun, and the sticky note. “We’ll get the rest of the details ironed out later, but for now, go get some justice.”

Beckett smiled as she took the items. “Thank you, sir.”

o.o.o.o.o

Their investigation led them to the apartment of Emma Riggs, a thirty-one year old waitress who fled the crime scene of her boyfriend’s homicide. Naturally, police accused her of the murder, but shortly after she fled the crime scene, she took hostages in a nearby dental office.

But Beckett wasn’t concerned about the details of that. She wanted the hostages to get out safely, but she had her faith in the hostage negotiation team that they would get everyone out with no mishaps.

“Beckett!” Lanie said, looking up from her clipboard. “You’re back!”

“Yeah,” Beckett replied with a bit of a smile. “Captain Gates did a little negotiating and got me my job back.” She nodded to the victim. “Cause of death?”

“Stabbed three times with a knife from the kitchen butcher block,” Lanie replied, holding the knife that was sealed away in an evidence bag up.

“There doesn’t appear to be any foreign prints or fibers either, so there’s no chance it could’ve been someone else,” Ryan chimed in. “There was a piece of paper in Angelo’s pocket that reads ‘S.H. off Sawmill River Parkway’ though.”

“That’s the way to Scarsdale from the city,” Beckett said.

“And the text history between her and Angelo shows signs of an affair,” Esposito added. “There’s even a text from last night that says she was drunk, lonely, and wanted to meet up.” He held up an empty bottle of scotch. “And here is a bottle of scotch. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a booty call gone wrong.”

Beckett nodded, glancing back down at their victim. Ryan stepped away for a moment, coming back to the group with two bottles.

“I found her prescriptions. Clonozopan and aripiprazole,” Ryan said. “Lanie, aren’t these anti-psychotics?”

“One of them is. The other’s for mood disorders,” Lanie said. “If she stopped taking her meds, she could’ve had a psychotic break.”

“Which makes this hostage situation a lot worse,” Beckett said, reaching for her phone. “I’m going to go to the dental office, see if we can get anything from the hostage negotiation team and let them know what we’ve found. Espo, you and Ryan grab Sully and look into Emma Riggs. Let’s see if we can find something that’ll help those hostages.”

o.o.o.o.o

Beckett wasn’t surprised to see what felt like half the force positioned outside of the dental office where Emma took hostages. The civilian crowd gathered just outside of the police barricade, and she had to push her way through in order to cross the line, flashing her badge to the officers as she did.

She approached the spot where her captain was. “Capt… oh,” she said.

Hazel eyes met blue as she finally noticed Castle. Her focus was only on finding her captain, and it wasn’t until after she locked eyes with Castle that she became aware that it wasn’t just Captain Gates that was there. Castle and another man from the hostage negotiation team that she didn’t recognize were there too. Maybe Captain Gates introduced him, but her eyes were only for Castle; her mind was too focused on him to really register anything else happening around her. He was wearing his WRITER vest, and she was surprised to know he still had it, even after all this time.

It gave her a flicker of hope that maybe they could have the life they once had, the life she ran from.

“Detective Beckett.”

Beckett’s eyes went to Gates, who appeared concerned. How many times had she tried to get her attention before she finally looked at her superior officer? She blinked. “Oh,” she said softly. “Sorry, sir.”

“Did you have anything for us?”

“Um, no, not really,” Beckett replied, quickly regaining her composure. “We believe Emma lured Angelo to her apartment, and then when things went south, she killed him.”

Gates nodded, then looked to Castle. “Did you manage to get any information from her?”

“She seems a little unstable,” Castle said. “But she’s claiming she’s innocent.”

“Was there anything at the crime scene that would prove her innocence?” Gates asked.

“No, all of the evidence points to Emma,” Beckett replied. “I have the boys looking into her life though to see if we can find anything that could help.” She looked to Castle. “What makes you think she’s innocent?”

He pulled out a Ziploc bag that held a cell phone. “This,” he said, handing the bag over to Beckett. “Look at her text messages.”

She looked at him for a moment, then took the bag and did as he instructed. Her breath caught in her throat as she read the messages. “The way she texts ‘love you’ is different,” Beckett said softly. Her eyes went back to Castle. “And you think this is why she’s innocent?”

Castle nodded, then she did too. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll get this to the lab on my way back to the precinct. Hopefully the boys have found something.”

She turned away, but she stopped. “Hey, um,” she started, turning back around. “Why don’t you come with, Castle?”

“What?”

“You’ve talked to Emma,” she said. “You’ve got a rapport with her. If we need to talk to her, you’d be the best person to do it.”

Castle looked to Gates and the other man, both of whom nodded. The other man spoke. “It’ll be better than having you stand around here doing nothing.”

“You coming, Castle?” she asked, taking a step back.

They looked at each other for a moment. There was a bit of tension in the air as they just watched each other, but then Castle nodded. He moved towards Beckett, eventually walking past her. She turned, moving to catch up to him, and then they were walking side by side.

It was just like old times. She had her partner back, for now, but for now was good enough.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: "I'm gonna get chapters up more often, I swear!!"  
> Also me: *drowning in work and other life issues and other projects* 
> 
> I've worked a couple 12 hour days lately because we're a little short staffed at work right now, but hopefully things will start looking up. I've been taking my time a little bit with this story too because I want to try my best to capture the essence of these characters to the best of my ability. Hopefully I've been doing that so far, haha, but I want to continue to do so. At the very least, I hope you all have enjoyed this story thus far and continue to enjoy it as we embark on this wild ride together.

“So,” Castle said once they were in the car and heading to the lab to drop off the phone. “You’re back.”

“Yeah,” Beckett replied. “I got fired from my job with the AG’s office, and Captain Gates managed to get me my job back.”

“Oh.”

She glanced over at him when he spoke, only for a moment though because she needed to keep her eyes on the road. She hadn’t expected his surprised tone when she explained herself, but then again, perhaps she should’ve. After all, she wasn’t really known for being the most open, easy to get to know kind of person. “Is that a bad thing?”

He hesitated. “No,” he replied after a moment. There was another pause, and Beckett didn’t have to look at him to know his eyes were on her. “Why did you get fired?”

“Did you watch the news after the Charlie Reynolds case was solved?”

“No, not really,” Castle replied with a small shrug. “I went home and did a little writing.”

Hearing that he was still writing warmed her heart, even though she knew it wasn’t Nikki Heat. She still bought his books even after their separation, and she could see that none of it was the same. It was almost as if their split changed him and his writing. “I fed the press a bad tip about Svetlana Rankov.”

“You did what?”

She looked over at him, managing a grin. “Guess I haven’t changed as much as you thought I have.”

Her eyes were on him long enough to see him turn away from her to look out the window. They were on him long enough to see that he remembered the words he said to her in the precinct break room before she gave him the flash drive. They were on him long enough for her to see that he looked almost ashamed about the words he said to her barely two days ago. “No, I guess you haven’t,” he said after a moment, his gaze still focused on the passing buildings.

She could hear the dismissive tone in his voice, but it was enough. She was back now, and they were working together again. There were going to be some bumps in the road, and she expected that. What gave her hope was that he didn’t outright reject her invitation to join her back at the precinct. What gave her hope was that he seemed almost as if he regretted saying that she’d changed.

Distance and time apart may not have healed the wounds she felt, and neither did closing herself off to the world again, but being back with her partner, with the man she’d fallen in love with, would.

o.o.o.o.o

When they got back to the precinct, there was no new information on Emma Riggs. Other than the homicide they were investigating and the current hostage situation, her record was clean. With a sigh, she sat down at her old desk, currently littered with Sully’s paperwork and leftover food.

“Go back to Emma’s apartment,” she said, looking to Esposito and Ryan. “Give it another sweep and see if there’s anything we may have missed the first time around. The rest of us will look into our vic, see if that can help us out any.”

Esposito and Ryan nodded, heading to the elevator, while Castle took a seat at the desk across from her. Sully took what used to be Castle’s chair. The action made Beckett frown, but she quickly wiped it off of her face, though not before Castle saw it.

It wasn’t long though before Beckett sent Sully to go look at their victim’s apartment, and then it was just her and Castle alone again. Together, they looked into their victim, using Sully’s computer as Beckett’s access into the NYPD database wasn’t set back up yet, given that it was only her first day back. They learned he had a history of breaking and entering, though he stopped ten years ago and cleaned his act up.

But apparently he was picking it back up now that he was out of work, as Sully found equipment of the burglary variety in his car. She thanked Sully, but not before telling him to reach out to any of Angelo’s past accomplices when he got back to the precinct.

“Maybe Emma knows what Angelo was up to,” Castle said, looking up from their victim’s file. “Take me back to the dental office, I’ll go in and talk to her.”

Beckett hesitated, her breath catching in her throat as she locked eyes with Castle. There was a part of her that didn’t want him to go in, a part of her that wanted to say that he didn’t have to do this, but she reminded herself that her reasoning for bringing him along was because he had a rapport with Emma. If he didn’t have that rapport, she probably wouldn’t have been able to convince him to come along. He probably would’ve stayed with the hostage negotiation team once he’d learned that she was the one in charge of this case.

“Kate,” he said. “It’s like you said, I have a rapport with her. Let me go in and see what she knows.”

She leaned back in her chair and let out a breath. “Okay.”

o.o.o.o.o

She was forced to stand back and watch as Castle put on his WRITER vest and go back into the dental office. Emma was armed, and if she was off her meds, then it was risky even for Castle to go in there. He had his vest, sure, but there was more than just the gun Emma had in her hands that could be used as a weapon in that office.

Beckett shook her head. No. She couldn’t think of those things. Castle would get out. He was smart and resourceful, and he’d been with her in a lot worse situations than this and gotten out alive. He knew what he was doing.

And this wasn’t his first rodeo dealing with a hostage situation.

Her mind flicked back to that day over two years ago when he’d called her while he and his mother were in a bank. She could remember every moment of it as if it happened yesterday. She could remember the way they were having lighthearted conversation until the robbers took over. She could remember telling Esposito and Ryan to alert dispatch to the situation and the confusion on their faces until she told them Castle was involved. She could remember the fear that was written all over Alexis’ face as the teenager showed up to the crime scene to find out what was happening with Castle and Martha, promising to get both of them out alive and well even though she couldn’t even tell herself that everything would be alright. She could remember threatening to personally step foot into the bank to put a bullet through Trapper John’s head if anything happened to Castle, in part because even though she was still denying it then, she’d fallen in love with him and in part because she promised Alexis that everything would be okay.

And everything did end up being okay. Castle and Martha and all of the other hostages got out okay.

If everything could turn out okay then, if everything could turn out okay the other times they’d found themselves in sticky situations, then it would all turn out okay today too. She just had to keep telling herself that.

“Beckett,” Ryan said, bringing her back to reality. She turned to see him and Esposito standing next to her, and from the looks of their faces, she could tell that they were concerned. “Did Castle go back in?”

“Yeah, why?” she replied.

“We found something about Emma,” Esposito said.

“What? What did you find?”

“This isn’t Emma’s first time doing this,” Esposito replied. “She has a sealed juvie record under her original name, Emma Jones.”

“She lived with the Koss family, who also had two sons, Warren and Billy. She got drunk and lured Billy into their basement when she was sixteen, and then stabbed him with a knife, killing him. It’s the same thing she did to Angelo,” Ryan continued.

“So she has an MO,” Beckett said, reaching for her phone. “We’ve gotta get Castle out of there.”

She was suddenly thankful that she made sure Castle still had her number and that she still had his before he went back in, just in case they needed to talk to each other. To her surprise, they did, even after all this time. Knowing that then made her smile, but knowing it now brought her relief.

“Do not react to what I am about to tell you,” she told him as soon as he answered the phone. She repeated all of the information that Esposito and Ryan told her, glancing to them to make sure that she got the details correct, and then she moved away from them. She looked back to her team for a moment to make sure they hadn’t followed her, and they didn’t, opting to watch from a distance. “She’s unstable. Castle, you have to get out of there.”

She sounded almost like she was pleading with him, but no sooner had the words left her mouth, she could hear the faint click of a gun. Her breath caught in her throat. She could hear Emma telling him to not say another word and to hang up, and he did without saying another word to her. Beckett let her arm fall back to her side, the phone still in her hand, as she let out a shaky breath.

“Beckett?” Esposito asked, stepping closer with Ryan at his side. “What happened?”

“I think she figured out that we know about the juvie record.”

o.o.o.o.o

She sent Esposito and Ryan back to the precinct shortly after she got off the phone with Castle. Her pacing back and forth, trying to shake herself of the restless energy that came with knowing that the love of her life was in a building with an unstable woman, was driving them crazy, and she couldn’t leave the scene.

Beckett managed to stop her nervous pacing enough to go stand near the command center set up by the hostage negotiation team. She didn’t get too close as she didn’t want to intrude, though she had every right to given that this was her case too, but she really just wanted to be close enough to hear what was happening in the building.

It was enough.

She was able to hear Castle and Emma, and she was pleased to know that he managed to calm her down. Knowing that he was out of danger, at least for now, eased her worries. She could faintly hear Esposito and Ryan, though she couldn’t make out their words.

And then she could hear some commotion involving someone named Mickey, one of the hostages if she remembered correctly. Her nerves shot right back up as she listened to the events unfold.

And then there was a gunshot.

Beckett’s heart sank.

Sergeant Roman’s commands to his team was enough to ground her and bring her back to reality. She didn’t hesitate to run inside with the SWAT team. As soon as the door was kicked down and she was able to enter the dental officer, her eyes found Castle almost instantly.

If her heart could’ve sank lower, it probably did.

She ran up to him, dropping to her knees next to him, touching his face. It was still warm, and she could feel a pulse. Her hands slid down to his chest, resting on the fabric of his vest.

“Castle,” she breathed, her voice shaky. She leaned over him, her voice low and shaky as she struggled to maintain her composure around their audience. “Rick, stay with me. I lo▬”

“Cheeseburgers!”

Beckett gasped, straightening up as Castle groaned and repeated the word. She helped him sit up, letting out a breathy laugh as she did so, even managing a smile. Her eyes drifted down to the vest, where his fingers found the bullet dotting the I.

She breathed a sigh of relief as Castle excitedly pointed to the bullet. In her panic, she hadn’t thought to look at the vest. All she saw was him on the ground. All she heard was the gunshot.

But he was okay, all things considered. There was pain, and bruising was likely, according to the EMT that checked on him outside, but he was okay. That was all that mattered to her.

“Beckett?” he asked, once they were back in her car to head back to the precinct. She looked over at him. “I think I know who the killer is.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Overtime is worth, but it is also a wild ride. Thankfully, I'll be going back to a more stable schedule now, so hopefully that means I'll have a little more time to write. I'm always so tired after work though most of the time, so it's just a matter of being able to stay awake enough to stay focused on stuff I want to do when I'm at home, haha. I am looking forward most to the future chapters of this story, and apparently, I've already got ideas rolling around in my head for future Castle stories. One step at a time though, one step at a time.

In light of Castle accidentally being shot, the rest of their case went surprisingly well. There was a little bit of an awkwardness with Sully and Castle, mostly because Sully was almost like a third wheel to their little team now that Beckett was back, but once they got past that, it was almost like old times. Almost.

The only thing that kept it from being just like old times was knowing that after this case, Beckett and Castle would be apart again.

Still, even with that thought in her mind, they managed to solve the case, and all was well. She was back home at the NYPD. She was back with her friends, with her team. Esposito and Ryan were a little disappointed since they wouldn’t be able to boss Sully around anymore, but their excitement over Beckett’s return overshadowed it.

The precinct started to thin out as her coworkers started to head home for the day. The boys pushed the paperwork onto her, claiming it was their gift for her return (a gesture that she rolled her eyes at, despite the smile on her face), but Beckett decided she’d do it tomorrow. Tonight, once she and Gates finalized the paperwork for her return to the precinct, was a night for celebration. Lanie was already making plans to open a bottle of wine and order take out once she got home. There were still other details in her life that needed to be ironed out, like getting her old apartment back from her cousin and finding someone to sublet her DC apartment once she got her stuff out of it, but the pieces of those puzzles would fall into place in time.

Beckett froze as she stepped outside of the captain’s office, her eyes locked onto Castle’s chair, where he was seated. His eyes were focused on his phone, but he was there.

“Castle?” she asked, moving towards her desk and standing behind her chair. He looked up, locking the screen on his phone. “What are you still doing here?”

“We need to talk.”

“Oh,” she replied, nodding slowly. “Um, okay.” She started to pull out her chair to sit down, but she stopped when she saw him shaking his head.

“Not here,” he said, standing up. “My place. My mother and Alexis are out for the evening. We’ll be alone there.”

o.o.o.o.o

Sure enough, Martha and Alexis weren’t at the loft when Castle and Beckett arrived. Beckett’s eyes swept across the loft as she stepped in behind her old partner. Nothing changed even over the last two years. She turned around to face Castle.

Maybe it was just them that changed.

Her going back to the person she was before Castle entered her life, mostly anyways. She hadn’t completely sealed herself off again, but she was well on her way to spiraling down that path again if she wasn’t careful. And for him, his writing changed. It didn’t have the same charm that it did with Derrick Storm or even Nikki Heat.

“What did you want to talk about?” she finally asked after a moment.

“At the dentist’s office today, when I was laying on the ground after I’d been shot, what was it you were going to say to me?”

Beckett’s breath caught in her throat. Her eyes widened. He heard her. He heard the beginnings of her confession, almost mirroring the one he’d given her after she’d been shot. The only difference was he’d interrupted her in the middle of it because he hadn’t been fatally shot.

She took a deep, shaky breath. “I love you.”

For a moment, she thought she saw a brief smile on his face, but it was gone as quickly as it came. “Did you only say it because you thought I was dead?”

“Why did you say it when I’d been shot?”

“I asked first.”

Beckett rolled her eyes. “I said it because I meant it. I said it because for four years, I’ve been running from how I feel, and I’m tired of running, Castle. I love you, and I was saying it in the dentist’s office because I mean it and I’ll say it again and again until you believe me.”

“How do I know you’re not going to run again?”

“I’m not going anywhere. Not this time,” she said. “I’m back at the NYPD. I got my job back, and I’m here to stay.”

They watched each other for a moment. He crossed the room to stand near his couch, not sitting down, but even as he did so, they didn’t take their eyes off of each other.

“I need some time to think about this.”

Beckett nodded, albeit slowly. This wasn’t how she’d imagined this conversation going once she’d confessed her feelings, but here they were. “Okay,” she finally said after a moment.

She turned to the door, her hand on the door knob before she turned back with a smile. “See you tomorrow?”

A pause.

“See you tomorrow.”

o.o.o.o.o

Martha, Alexis, and Pi returned from their night out shortly after Beckett left the loft. Castle hung out in the living room long enough to hear the escapades of his mother, daughter, and her boyfriend, and then he’d gone into his office to write. The rest of the family went their separate ways over the course of the night with Martha heading up to her room and Pi taking his place on the couch.

Alexis went up to her room, but when she could no longer ignore the burning question in her mind, she went back downstairs to her father’s office. When she stepped into the office, she could see her father was focused. His eyes flicked up to her for a brief moment, but he didn’t stop typing. The sight brought a small smile to her face. It was the first time in a while she’d seen her dad so focused on writing.

In reality, it was only maybe a couple days. It only took one trip to the precinct to get the gears turning in Castle’s head again. What started as a spin off from the Nikki Heat series that would focus on his, Esposito, and Ryan’s fictional counterparts turned into a redemption arc for the fictional versions of himself and Beckett. He was putting what they hoped they would become in the future onto the screen of his computer, and eventually, it would turn into words on a page that she would hopefully one day read.

Because though the words never left his mouth today, deep down, he hoped he and Beckett could one day become the partners they once were.

He finally looked up at her after a moment, leaning back in his chair. “Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”

“Can I ask you something?” she asked.

“Of course,” Castle replied.

Alexis hesitated for a moment. “Was Beckett here earlier?”

“She was, yes. How’d you know?”

“We saw her when we were coming up,” Alexis said. “We said hi to each other, but that was about it. Are you two together?”

“No,” Castle said. He hesitated for a moment. The last time Alexis even heard about Beckett was when they had their fight, and though he didn’t speak ill of Beckett in front of his daughter, he could tell it left a bad taste in her mouth. “Beckett’s been going through some… adjustments in her life the last couple of years, but she’s been working through them.”

Castle barely finished speaking before his daughter fired off another question. “Why’d you invite her over then?”

“You remember how the NYPD called this morning because they needed my help?” Castle asked. Alexis nodded. Of course she remembered; she’d been the one to hand the phone to him, in between Pi barging in to borrow a razor and his mother bringing a cup of the sludge she called coffee. “I ran into Beckett while I was helping with that case. We talked a little bit during everything, but I invited her over to catch up a little bit. That was all.”

“Is it going to be like before?”

Castle shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied. “I don’t know what’ll happen between me and Beckett.”

There was silence for a moment before Alexis finally nodded. “Okay,” she said.

There were unspoken words between them, Castle could feel it, but he didn’t push the subject. There was no sense in reliving the past when he had the future to look forward to. He watched as Alexis stepped out of the office, after wishing him a good night, and then he closed his laptop and stepped into his room.

o.o.o.o.o

When Beckett got back to Lanie’s apartment, her friend already had the wine and Chinese food out on the table. It was surprisingly quiet as they ate, and Beckett was starting to think that maybe, for once, she’d be off the hook.

“So I heard you worked with Castle today,” Lanie finally said.

“Yeah.”

“How was it?”

Beckett hesitated, suddenly standing and walking over to the kitchen sink with her plate. She dropped the chopsticks in the trash on her way, and the plate was gently set in the sink. Her eyes focused on the water for a moment as it started to pool on the plate.

“I told him I loved him.”

Beckett turned when she heard Lanie’s sudden coughing fit, the glass of wine in her friend’s hand. “You said what?” she coughed out.

She turned off the water and walked back over to the table, taking her seat. “I told him I loved him. He’d been shot, and I’d almost said it then, but he was okay because of his vest. But after, I went back to his place and told him everything.”

“Damn, girl,” Lanie said, taking a deep breath. The coughing had subsided. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.”

“What did he say though?” Lanie asked.

Beckett shrugged. “He thought I was only saying it because I thought he was going to die, and he’s scared I’m going to run off again.”

“Are you?”

“No,” Beckett replied. “No, I’m here to stay this time. DC wasn’t for me. Being with the NYPD and solving homicides, that’s where I’m meant to be. This is my home.”

Lanie smiled. “Well, then, you’re just gonna have to prove to him that you’re sticking around.”

“Yeah, I know,” Beckett replied. “I think I’ll see him tomorrow, so hopefully it goes well.”

“It will,” Lanie said. “You two have been crazy about each other for years. This is just a little bump in the road that you two will get past eventually.”

Beckett managed a smile as she nodded. She could only hope Lanie was actually right about everything.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something something usual apologies for taking forever and that I swear I haven't forgotten about this story. Work is draining, but mental health days have helped. Take them. You deserve them. Also take this chapter of this story, because you deserve that too. ♥

True to his word, Castle returned to the precinct the next day. And the day after that. And every day after that. Even on the days where the cases were relatively dull and quick to be solved, he was there. Even on the days where all she had to do was paperwork, he was there, seated in his chair next to her desk, playing on his phone to pass the time and occasionally breaking the silence with a random, wild thought that brightened her day. They had their coffee, courtesy of Beckett and the espresso machine he’d bought for homicide when he’d first started working with her, and it was almost perfect.

The only thing that would actually make it perfect was if they were actually together, as she dreamed of now (not that she’d ever admit that to anyone, even, and perhaps most especially, Lanie), and not in the awkward stage of wondering where their relationship would go.

Their most exciting case was that of working with a supposed time traveler, a case that fascinated Castle and annoyed Beckett. Perhaps the only spark of hope she got from Simon Doyle was hearing that in the supposed future, she and Castle did indeed get together and had three kids. The three kids part was a little surprising, mostly because she never really saw herself as a mother and the idea of becoming one terrified her, but she was with Castle in this future and that was enough for her.

Deep down, she loved this. She’d missed it over the two years they’d been apart, and now that she had it back, she was grateful for it. This was how things were supposed to be, and she didn’t want to let it go again.

o.o.o.o.o

After dealing with Simon Doyle, Castle and Beckett’s partnership more or less went back to how it was before. There was still the sense of awkwardness, but it was mostly back to normal. Perhaps all they needed was a little time to get back into their groove, get past the awkwardness of their less than amicable break up and subsequent meeting up again, and things would fall into place.

Mostly, anyways. Beckett still had to move back into her old apartment and off of Lanie’s couch, and she still had to get her things from her DC apartment. Things were falling back into place for Beckett though, and that was enough for her. For now.

Their next case revolved around their victim being caught up in a scavenger hunt that resulted in her untimely death. Their victim seemingly found out about a secret room in one of the city’s many churches, which Castle also figured out after some time. Sure enough, there was one, and sure enough, once they were inside, the door closed behind them.

Beckett let out a groan.

Not because she was trapped in this place with Castle, but more so because she had no bars on her phone and they had no way out. Castle was in the same boat, of course, and while she spent her time in the room holding her phone in an attempt to get bars, Castle explored and found some ancient coins that their victim could’ve been looking for too.

She managed to get through to Esposito to come rescue them, and then she sat down on the now closed coffin. All they could do was wait. There was no way for them to get out, at least not one that they’d discovered. Castle took a seat next to her, having poked around the entirety of the room.

“Why’d you come back?” she finally asked after a period of silence that she just couldn’t bear anymore.

Castle shrugged. “Dunno,” he said. She gave him a look. “Really. I guess I just kinda… missed how things were. It felt like something was missing in my life by not being at the precinct every day, and when I came back for that Charlie Reynolds case, it just felt like that spark came back.”

She nodded, a little disappointed in his response. She’d expected him to say something about their relationship, how he’d missed her just like deep down, she’d missed him, but she should’ve expected him not to. When they’d parted ways, it was on rocky terms. Now that they were back together, they were just trying to find their footing again.

She looked away after a moment when he didn’t say anything, her eyes focused on a stray thread on her jacket. It wasn’t until she felt his arm wrap around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him that she looked back at him. He wasn’t looking at her, instead keeping his eyes on the wall across from them, but there was a smile on his face as he gently rubbed her arm.

“Thank you,” she said softly, leaning into his one armed embrace. Her body warmed up; she didn’t realize just how cold she was until she’d leaned into him. “For being here.”

If the smile could’ve grown on his face, it did. “Always.”

A smile of her own formed on her face. That one little word, their word, was enough to give her another little spark of hope. It was enough to give her a little more to hang onto. Maybe they really did have a chance.

o.o.o.o.o

They got out, thanks to Esposito and Ryan (who, of course, teased the both of them about their predicament), and solved the case. They brought justice to another victim’s family. Beckett’s heart warmed at the knowledge of that. It always did, at least in recent years, thanks to Castle. He’d taught her that while her mother’s case was important to her, the cases she solved were important to the victims of the families. She’d brought them closure, and though she hadn’t experienced that same closure yet, it still warmed her heart knowing she’d done that.

She was helping others and bringing justice to this hellish world, and that was enough for her.

“Wanna go grab a burger?” Beckett asked, slinging her bag over her shoulder. Esposito and Ryan had already left to grab celebratory drinks, leaving Beckett and Castle at the precinct alone to handle the paperwork. “My treat.”

Castle stood, shaking his head. “I’m sorry,” he said. He caught the disappointment on Beckett’s face, a quick change in expression from the hope and excitement she initially showed, and quickly continued. “I’d love to, but there’s someone I need to talk to.”

Her expression softened when she saw the smile he managed to put on his face. During their case, he’d talked about how Alexis moved into an apartment with her boyfriend she met while she was in Costa Rica last summer. She could tell how much Castle hated Pi, though he didn’t really do much to hide his disapproval either. She’d given him advice, told him of her own life stories with boys and her dad’s disapproval (though Jim wasn’t quite as overprotective, mostly thanks to her mom telling him off), and that seemed to propel him into action.

“Alright,” she said. “Good luck.”

o.o.o.o.o

Castle was a little apprehensive as he entered Alexis’ apartment building. It wasn’t entirely because of the environment, though it was less than desirable, but it was more so because his daughter had never been this mad at him before. Usually their disagreements ended in going out for ice cream after they’d come to an agreement.

Alexis answered the door when he knocked. “Dad.”

“Hey,” he replied. “Can I come in?”

“We can talk here,” Alexis replied.

“Okay,” Castle said, nodding. “I’m sorry about what I said about Pi and your apartment and for ruining the dinner the other day.”

“Sorry doesn’t make up for it.”

“What will?”

“You need to _accept_ him,” Alexis replied. “Just like I always accepted you and Beckett. Just like I accepted you and Gina, or you and all your other girlfriends.”

“Alexis, Beckett and I aren’t together,” Castle replied.

“No, but I still accepted her,” Alexis said. “And even when she pushed you away and you basically stopped writing because she broke your heart, I still accepted that.”

“So you want me to accept Pi?” Castle asked. Alexis nodded. “Okay, I accept him.”

“Thank you.”

“So,” Castle said, managing a smile. “Ice cream?”

“No!” Alexis replied. “I need time. I think we both do. And besides, you can’t just say it, you have to _mean_ it.”

“I do mean it, Alexis,” he replied.

“Then prove it,” she replied, moving to close the door. “Prove it just like Beckett’s trying to prove to you that she’s not just gonna run off again.”

“Alexis, wait,” Castle said. “Is this about Beckett?”

“It’s no more about her than it is about Pi,” she replied. “But you’ve gone back to the precinct despite everything. You’ve taken her back into your life despite everything. You’ve been writing again. But I think you really need to figure out if she’s really sticking around this time, because if she’s going to break your heart again, maybe you need to move on. I saw what happened the first time around.”

Castle blinked, taking a moment to absorb his daughter’s words. Of course she’d seen it all. She was there. He’d done his best to hide it, but he couldn’t hide everything. His family noticed his lack of writing after she’d gone, noticed how he’d only written the bare minimum to keep Black Pawn off of his back. Beckett saw none of that.

“I have work to do,” Alexis said. “I’ll talk to you later, dad.”

“Okay,” Castle replied. “Talk to you later.”

With the door closed, Castle wondered whether he’d solved anything by coming here. His daughter seemingly forgave him for his actions the other night at their dinner, when he first saw the apartment she and her boyfriend were living in, but in the same vein, she’d laid into him about his relationship with Beckett.

Were they going to end up like they were before?

Castle shook his head as he walked towards the elevator. No, they couldn’t. Everything was seemingly going back to normal for them. Esposito and Ryan joked with him and teased him. He and Beckett were smiling and laughing together, working together with the boys to solve cases. The four of them were making the city a safer place, just like they used to. The only notable change was in Captain Gates’ behavior, and even that was a small change. She still laid into Castle whenever he spouted an outlandish theory or did something stupid or reckless, but it was almost as if she _wanted_ him around; it honestly made him question whether or not the captain liked him or not.

Perhaps it wasn’t Alexis he needed to talk to. Perhaps it was Beckett that he needed to talk to. Perhaps now was the time to really sort out his relationship with his partner, to see where it was really going, to see if they actually had a chance together or if they’d end up broken hearted like they did before.


End file.
